Hello, Goodbye

It's New Year's Eve. In some parts of the world it's already New Year's Day. And where am I? Relaxing at home with the family? Off out at a house party or getting cold and wet at a city centre New Year celebration? Nope. I'm working. And found out that I would be working less than a week before Christmas. This pretty much sums up 2012. It's been like that.

Last year, as the last whisps of 2011 melted away and 2012 arrived, I remember feeling quite melancholy. It was a feeling that clung to me for weeks. And not without good reason. When I look back now, as I'm about to close the door on 2012 forever, I can see it's been a year dogged with ongoing issues, few resolutions and lots of goals left unachieved.

The first half of the year, Granny was very poorly. We were all very concerned for her and to that I added the weight of concern for my Dad and cousins. Steve and I made two very long trips to Canterbury to visit as her health deteriorated and finally my last surviving grandparent passed away.

The second half of the year has been plagued with work issues, as my previous employer's contract came to an end and a new (incompetent) contractor came in to take over. There has been much anxiety in the build up to the transfer, which has manifested in people generally being unkind to each other. I've had to say goodbye to some great colleagues (and one very good friend who is bringing in the New Year in Australia). The final culmination of this has been mass redundancies and some really inappropriate and unfair actions by the new employer. This has been the single most stressful thing I have been through with any employer and I hope I never have to repeat anything similar in the future.

Our house is still on the market. It still hasn't sold. It's still causing a disproportionate amount of stress with dickish estate agents and a kitchen roof that continues to leak. We've missed out on a number of opportunities, the worst of which was a house with a turret. Even with the front of the house sinking, it was a bargain and it would have been a beautiful home. I fear I might always regret that as 'the one that got away'.

* * *

However, 2012 has a few things worth remembering it for. I have waited for most of my life to see The Phantom of the Opera and I was not disappointed when Mum and I went to see it in May. It was spectacular and if I had been able to afford to see it again, I would have. I also saw Starlight Express this year. I've wanted to see it since I was about twelve so it's been a long wait.

May was a great month this year; as well as Phantom of the Opera at the Palace Theatre, Mum and I had a trip down to the Big Smoke so I could sing at the Royal Albert Hall with Sing Live and the Night of 1000 Voices. I love the choir. I love singing. And combining that with the trip and having Mum there was a real treat.

Mum, Steve and I holidayed in Cyprus in May as well. We lounged around the hotel pool and the hotel bar and the hotel restaurant and our room and didn't leave the hotel all week. It was almost perfect. But I really must stop eating milky and creamy things: My stomach can't take it!

In August Ann and I went into Manchester for one of those makeover days where they take photos. I was surprised how much I enjoyed it and came away with a bunch of photos that I'm really pleased with. They actually make me look quite normal, and not strange or hideous. Although they do show I have a dent in my forehead. Investigations into the cause of the dent are ongoing. (I suspect Dad might've dropped me on my head as a child.)

One final highlight of the year has been Pinterest. Ah, what joy. And what agony. Pinterest inspired me to make some of my Christmas presents this year. Claire got a handmade bracelet that I was quite pleased with. My Dad received an iPad case made out of a recycled suit jacket. I gave my Mum a scrapbook of our wedding photos - it wasn't quite finished but I think she was really pleased to finally have a wedding album. Ann got a Memory Jar. And my in-laws... I made them a patchwork quilt, which I finished at 2.30am on Christmas Day. It turned out really well and I have a queue of people asking for me to make them one. So Pinterest has been a success in that it has lead me to achievements myself.

* * *

Looking forward to 2013, I'll be graduating from the Open University, achieving my Literature degree. I'll also be going to see Wicked when it tours (another one of my favourite musicals ticked off the list) and I'm hoping to get to see a few more theatre productions this year too. I would love to see Avenue Q, although I'd be surprised if that opportunity rolls around this year. I'm really looking forward to the Les Miserables movie, and Sing Live's first concert of 2013 on the 3rd of Feb at the Bridgewater Hall.

I'm renewing my 2012 New Year's Resolution to read 12 books (I only managed 6, with 2 still on the go) but I think I might have to aim for 13 books as it's 2013.2013 will also see the first draft of the novel that I've started at least three times, and I'm determined to keep a diary. Writing has to be a focus of the year, if for no other reason than it's necessary for my degree, so I'm relaunching my writing blog tomorrow. I'm not setting a goal of blogging every day, but I want to make sure there is regular content, and if I'm writing everyday that should be easy... Should... Be... Easy. Famous last words.

I really want to spend a bit more time with friends this year; I feel like I've hardly seen Ann or Claire and I'd really like to meet up with some old friends that I haven't seen for a while. I'm already dreaming up a visit to Ally and Rich in Londonium, and maybe lunch or dinner out with Jo Jo from First Choice. And who knows what else I might manage to do.

So I'm making 2013 a year of friendship and achievement! 13 might be unlucky for some, but it's never steered me wrong. Hello 2013. Goodbye 2012.

NaBloPoMo Day 19 - To eBook or not to eBook

Day 19 already. Nearly three weeks. Very exciting. However, for the first time since the beginning of NaBloPoMo, I found myself at a bit of a loss on what to write about, so I sought inspiration on the NaBloPoMo website in the list of prompts. I had to go back to July or August but it was the first one that captured my imagination.

Paper books or eBooks?

There is no doubt that the Sony Reader, the Kindle, the iPad and the various other tablet and e-reader devices are clever pieces of kit - I have written every one of this months blog posts on my iPad and use it for all my notes, outlines and writing. But there's something about a book.

In the same way that physically writing is different from typing, reading on a screen is a different experience to reading an actual book. There's something about holding a book, feeling it's weight and size, the smell of the pages and that sound as you turn a page; it's all part of the experience of reading. A book is warm and friendly and there's nothing quite like a dog-eared copy that has been read over and over, where you can see in every crease and worn edge, how much the reader has appreciated it. An e-reader is cold, mechanical and emotionless and can never tell it's own story the way a physical book can. A book is a doorway to another world, an e-reader is a tool to be used.

You might think this is odd coming from someone who is a self-confessed iFan, but writing is a different process for me than reading and therefore the way that I choose to engage with that process is different. Reading is all about enjoyment for me. When I read I like to become absorbed. I don't analyse, I don't examine and I don't question, I simply let the prose lead me and I obediently follow. When I'm writing, it's work. It's work I enjoy, but it's work. My mind is busy, looking for opportunities to explore, sewing seeds and weaving threads together. When I write, I'm in the driver's seat. It's a more analytical process and a more active one. As a writer, there are occasions when I want to be free of my digital chains, and that's when I put pen to paper in a leather journal I keep for the purpose. In it you will find ideas, random thoughts, snippets of songs, poetry and prose that catch my attention, and general ramblings.

For me, both reading and writing are quite romantic and artsy, but where reading is an entirely romantic experience, writing has a second facet which I think of as 'productive writing'. There's a place for e-readers; it's easier to take a loaded iPad on a two week holiday rather than a stack of 7 novels, and I acknowledge that some people will not romanticise reading as I do, but there will always be books in my house, and I will always prefer to read a printed novel over a digital copy.

NaBloPoMo Day 5 - A Blog For Readers

Just a short blog post today as I need to try and get some sleep. I considered posting about this particular subject yesterday but it was just trumped by the story about the pub because I love an underdog and because it was topical. Today, I'd like to recommend a favourite blog.

http://blatantbiblioholic.wordpress.com/

The blogger is a friend of mine that I met through a mutual interest in singing and performing. Kirsty and I are both members of Sing Live North West and although we've both been members for a couple of years now, it was only last summer that I got to know Kirsty a little better. Her passion for books is unrivalled amongst my friends as she seems to consume (and buy) book after book. This shows in her blog.

Over the past few weeks, Kirsty has been working through 'Boof's 40 Day Book Challenge', making daily reading recommendations based on different prompts and themes. I've already added several titles to my own reading list and have found following the challenge to be light and interesting. If you have a few moments to spare, why not check out the latest recommendation: "A favourite book recommended by a book blogger". I guarantee that you'll want to read more.

One Pill. Anything's Possible.

I imagine that most people have a DVD collection similar to mine. It's a right mixture; literally next to each other on the shelf, you will find a critically acclaimed movie, like Million Dollar Baby, beside something fun and frivolous, like Minority Report. One thing is certain, though; whether it's an Oscar winner or a summer blockbuster, every DVD has earned its place on my shelf. Limitless is no different.

Hidden somewhere between stock characters that have been dusted off, given a new set of clothes and a change of name and sent on their merry way, and a camera technique that is all too reminiscent of 2002 David Fincher pic, Panic Room, you will find an entertaining and endearing heart and a premise that is intellectually intriguing. Russian gangsters, the smarmy ex-brother-in-law drug dealer (who steps right out of the 80's complete with sharp suit and minimalist bachelor pad) and the girlfriend may be unconvincing on screen but Bradley Cooper, as the lead, Eddie Morra, is charasmatic and engaging (and easy on the eye!) while Robert De Niro puts in a highly satisfying performance as the enigmatic villain. And while the digitally tinkered-with zooming camera work may be sickeningly familiar, it also serves as a stomach-churning reminder of how unbalanced and unhinged Eddie Morra's life is becoming. However, the most enchanting element of the movie, is the premise itself. The idea that taking a simple pill will allow you to unlock your full potential; that a pill can fix your life, is enchanting and I dare say there isn't a writer alive who wouldn't long for Eddie Morra's miracle drug to help them finish (or even start!) their magnum opus. But, no matter how bewitching the concept might be, there is a moral message to this movie too, and it is delivered gently with a pleasantly light touch; so light that it might be easy to miss.

Morra's use of the drug, NZT, is all too reasonable in the film. Eddie starts using on the basis that it's a one-time thing that can't possibly make his life any worse. It makes him feel good, makes him successful, so he understandably wants more. But then the side-effects start, but too late he finds that he's no longer taking it because he wants to, but because he needs to. It's a fascinating take on drug use in everyday life, whether that's medicinal drugs (I recently went on holiday and left my prescription drugs at home. By the end of the week I was feeling very unwell!) or whether it's tobacco, alcohol, cannabis or something stronger. It teaches us that it's all too easy - a series of small steps - to start down a road that leads to dependency and it can sometimes get you mixed up in things you would normally not get mixed up in.

It's far from perfection, but Limitless is a movie that has a lot going for it. Ultimately, it manages to entertain and provoke me in equal measure. That's why it will find a home in my DVD collection and why I'll also be reading the book, The Dark Fields by Alan Glyn, on which the film is based.

Limitless is released in the UK on DVD and Blu-ray on 1st August

It's a Dog's Life

Like any other person heading off on holiday, I pack my holiday essentials: sun cream, toothbrush and books, Books BOOKS. This June was no different. One of the books I decided to take was Marley and Me by John Grogan. I saw the film a little while ago and thoroughly enjoyed the tortuous tale of a young family and their maniacal mutt. And the book was a marvelous read and I highly recommend it, whether you have seen the film or not.

When I was little - I mean really little - I always wanted a dog and was not allowed to have one. My parents were justifiably concerned that being a child, I would not take good care of a dog and the responsibility would therefore be left to them... or rather Mum! Mum finally yielded following a break-in and we went to a local family that had just had a litter of Border Collie pups.

It was my brother, David, that picked out our treasured family pet. She was originally called 'Dotty' but Mum insisted that she was not going to walk around the village calling "Dotty... Dotty... Come here Dotty!" so we quickly renamed her 'Brèagha', Gaelic for beautiful. Although the name was apt (she was a beautiful dog all her life), Dotty was perhaps just as apt because she was a complete nutcase! She hated men and barked non-stop at any man (other than David, Dad or my husband, Steve) who entered the house. She had a penchant for digging, which manifested initially in uprooted rose bushes or holes under the fence (despite the gate being wide open all the time) and later in a six foot hole at the side of the house, which Dad discovered only when my parents eventually moved. She used to sit on your shoulder (was she a dog or a parrot?) and watch TV. She was particularly fond of Star Trek The Next Generation and used to sit a foot away from the TV and tilt her head from side to side. She loved yoghurt pots, even when they was no yoghurt in them; plant pots, without the plants; and plastic lids, which she could destroy within 24 hours. She wouldn't eat unless you tried to take her food away and loved nothing more than a good game of 'My Bone'. She chased sheep, rabbits, birds, cats, people and even cars; one time she did actually catch a rabbit... and then promptly let it go because she didn't know what to do with it. Her answer to grooming was to swim in a river, in the sea or any other body of water, as long as it wasn't clean. She hated the bath and the brush in equal measure. She used to run in fear of Dad's hiccups but couldn't love enough when you came home after being away - even if 'away' was five minutes to nip round the corner to the shop. She was my best friend as I grew up and the day she had to be put to sleep (due to cancer that had spread in her hind quarters) was no less heartbreaking than the day my brother died because she was just as much a part of our family.

The wonderful thing is, reading Marley and Me and chatting to a colleague at work who has just got a new pup, my experience of having a dog, and the love that I and my whole family felt, is not unique. John Grogan suggests that you can learn a lot from a dog and asks how many people in the world can make you feel so loved. What is also incredible is the connection that you can feel to other dog owners. You share a great common ground and together you laugh at your pets' follies, despair at their lunacies and you share joy and pain at their lives and deaths. A dog might bring noise, chores and fur in abundance to your home, but he or she brings so much more. I miss my dog and if it wasn't for the fact I work 5 days a week, I would have another in a heartbeat.