Comic? Or Not?

On Friday night I and my family had the misfortune of seeing Watchmen at our local Odeon. It's somewhat of a family tradition now: When my folks visit, at least one night we will usually go for a meal and then catch a film. We like good old-fashioned hokum - action, sci-fi, adventure... anything as long as it's not too high brow. The idea is always to have fun. If we walk away intellectually challenged or provoked into thought, so much the better, but fun is the ultimate goal.

Now, it's admittedly rather slim pickings at this time of the year with Oscar season well and truly over yet still months until summer blockbuster territory, but Watchmen seemed to fit the bill, particularly upon reading Vue Cinema's blurb:

"A complex, multi-layered mystery adventure, 'Watchmen' is set in an alternate 1985 America in which costumed superheroes are part of the fabric of everday society. When one of his former colleagues is murdered, the washed up but no less determined masked vigilante Rorschach sets out to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all past and present superheroes."

One might read the above and think this movie is a comic book superhero romp of the type that has become familiar over the last few years. Perhaps a Spiderman type film - colourful and fun with lots of action? Perhaps one might even hope for something as classy and well constructed as the recent Batman movies? Or maybe the uber stylish Sin City springs to mind? Whatever it is, it's surely got to be fun and exciting, right? Unfortunately, not. Instead, at a length of 162 minutes, it is probably about 157 minutes too long. The plot plods, the action is tacked on, the characters are made of rice paper and the climax leaves you with a bitter aftertaste. Yet it starts with such promise.

An exciting, if dark, opening culminates with the hurling of ex-superhero, 'The Comedian', out of a high-rise window to meet a grisly death on the pavement below. This progresses swiftly into one of the best opening sequences I've seen in a long time: A moving pseudo-biographical montage of the previous 4o years of superhero history plays to Bob Dylan's The Times They Are A-changin'. Great stuff and very stylish! If there had been a bomb threat, a powercut, or an act of God there and then, I think I would have left the cinema happy. Instead I sat through the next two hours wondering if laser eye surgery or even watching paint dry would be more interesting. I'm not going to betray the plot of Watchmen in case any of my readers are brave enough to try it out for themselves, but hopefully I can give an indication of the flaws of the film without giving too much away.

Firstly the acting is generally poor. Jeffrey Morgan, as gritty and fatally flawed superzero 'Comedian', gives quite possibly the best performance of the movie. Billy Crudup isn't bad playing the emotionless but somehow angst-riden, Dr Manhattan. However, their parts are limited and much of the 'action' revolves around Laurie Jupiter (Malin Akerman) and Dan Dreiberg (Patrick Wilson). Neither actor is capable of carrying this film and Akerman in particular is the movie equivalent of chocolate mousse... looks nice but no substance. She was decidedly wooden and completely unconvincing. Wilson might have come across better had another actress been cast to play opposite him but as things stand, his performance is also lack-lustre.

The plot is, at times, satsifyingly complex as you are guided through history in an effort to solve the mystery, but it drags, making the two and a half hour film feel more like four hours. Plus, the climax is about as satisfying as an empty box on christmas day. There was more attention paid to constructing the rich tapestry of the past than to the actual plot, which should have been the driving force. It was almost as if the plot was a device for telling you about the Watchmen history rather than the other way around. The turning points are consistently weak - not due to the events themselves, but due entirely to poor writing that gives you no build up to the most significant events, dumping a character's change of heart or realisation on you with little or no warning. As a result everything felt a bit cobbled together and ultimately any curiosity that might have been built up in the early part of the film is very quickly forgotten.

There is also a good deal of highly gratuitous sex and violence throughout. I am by no means a prude but I was seriously uncomfortable at times and felt that the movie lost, rather than gained, something as a result of this approach. The rape scene was a especially ill conceived and would have been more effective if handled slightly differently. Instead, it felt like violence for violence sake while it could (and should) have been so much more important.

On the whole there are very few positives that I can take away from Watchmen. It does have a decent soundtrack. It has some nice special effects. It has a handful of really nice visual moments. However, this film is schizophrenic: It doesn't know what it wants to be. There is a very definite effort to create a visual style but it's uncohesive, lacking the raw edgy feel of Sin City or the glorious visual riot of something like 300. It achieves something more like Spiderman or Superman, but this too is disrupted so that the film doesn't really achieve any solid visual or generic style. Watchmen wants to be stylish and grown-up but also wants to be a generic action/superhero flick. The sex and violence are a failed attempt to bring the film into the adult market but instead it simply gives the scenes a bolt-on feel and prevents the movie from having a wider, less sophisticated appeal. It wants to be thought provoking but the only thoughts it provoked in me were suicidal ones. It wants to be clever but the lack of a skilfully crafted script makes it plod instead. It's a shame - it had the potential to be much better but fell flat on almost every front.